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THE HARSHEST CRITIC

I can't tell if I hate my face
Or if I've just looked too closely at it
My face
Its shape
My body
My weight
The racing thoughts
Of an amphetamine addict
I can rarely stand it - to look in the mirror
Because every time that I do
I get caught in a thought loop
I'm unable to break through
And I can't find a kind word to say
The low blows that I go to
The tactless brutal review
What mercy I have-I show not to man
I don't often care now- what others think
I highly doubt what they think is of me
It's my own approval I seek
A soft smile or kind wink
But- She
Is the harshest critic
Unmoved and cruel hearted
Never misses her target
A violent arrow that punctures the chest
I thought time would heal me
But now I can feel myself aging
And I worry the hurt just grows too
Like a cancer within me
It preys 'til it kills me
My home
Shattered glass that I threw the stones to